PUSHING THROUGH ISN'T ALWAYS RESILIENCE

For a long time, I thought resilience meant pushing through.

Keep going.

Stay productive.

Push past exhaustion.

Ignore stress

.Power through.

People have often commented on how much energy I have and how much I’m always doing. Whether it was DIY projects, biking, gardening, working multiple jobs, coordinating activities with friends, attending social events, or constantly staying busy, I often felt like the Energizer Bunny

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I was also the person making long, often unrealistic to-do lists and refusing to really rest until everything was finished. More than once, I was outside at 9:00 at night wearing a headlamp trying to finish a project in the garden… and then up again early the next morning continuing to go.

At the time, I viewed this as productivity, drive, and resilience.

But looking back, I don’t think I spent much time checking in with myself or asking what I actually needed.

As a coach, nurse, educator, and helper by nature, I became very good at overriding my own nervous system signals. I ignored exhaustion, pushed through stress, and rarely slowed down long enough to notice what was happening internally.

Over time, though, my understanding of resilience has changed.

I’ve realized that pushing through isn’t always resilience.

Sometimes resilience looks like: pausing, resting, setting boundaries, slowing down, asking for support, or allowing your nervous system time to recover and recalibrate.

We are not machines.

And constantly operating in survival mode eventually catches up with us — mentally, emotionally, and physically.

One of the biggest shifts for me has been learning that recovery is not weakness. It’s part of sustainable well-being.

Especially for those of us who spend so much time caring for others.

A few small ways to support your nervous system this week:

1. Pause long enough to ask yourself what you actually need.

   
   

2. Soften the way you speak to yourself under stress.

   
   

3. Create small moments of recovery throughout the day instead of waiting until burnout.

   
   

Small shifts matter.